


Harmonious Conjunction

by AnchoredTether



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Although this is mostly Plance I try to delve into all the main characters, Character Development, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Lance Has Issues, Mild Gore, Minor Violence, Pidge has solutions, Takes place after season 5, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, continues on through season 6 and 7, flirtyrobot, pidgance, plance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-05-02 19:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14551410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnchoredTether/pseuds/AnchoredTether
Summary: After discovering a secret (or not so secret?) talent of Lance's, Pidge finds herself realizing how little she actually knows about her longtime obnoxiously flirty teammate. She thought she had Lance figured out, but the more she learns the more she realizes the complexity of the Blue Paladin's personality. It turns out her curiosity just might be the death of her.





	1. Sparked Curiosity

][ [music](https://youtu.be/TGz-AfDaDAM) ][

Between saving planets from Galra forces and making diplomatic appearances with rebel alliances, being a paladin of Voltron held little room for relaxation. Yet the team tried their best, with quiet mornings in the common room, soothing sore muscles by sitting in the jacuzzi after sparring, or simply gazing out at unfamiliar stars between long distance travels between planets. Once Pidge figured out a way to make the gaming console she and Lance bought at the Space Mall work with the castle's systems, she, Lance, and Hunk all enjoyed playing Mercury Game Flux from time to time. It made them all homesick for Earth and the simpler times.

"UUUUGH how are you so good at this, Pidge?" Lance groaned when he died again, Pidge's avatar still fighting the final boss.

"Instead of interacting with other kids, I grew up mostly playing video games with my brother." She replied, keeping her focus on the game as her fingers mashed buttons, her tongue slightly sticking out of the corner of her mouth, a habit of hers when she concentrated.

"Makes sense. You  _are_  an introverted type."

"Clearly you're an extrovert." She made a sound of frustration as her character lost a significant amount of HP.

"I've actually never typed you before..." Lance said with a thoughtful hum, grabbing his chin with his index and thumb. After a moment of staring at her as if the psychological profile was somewhere written on her face, he said decisively, "You're an INTP." As if confirming with himself his analysis, he nodded. "Yep. Definitely an INTP."

"You're familiar with Myer-Briggs?" Pidge was genuinely surprised, her eyebrows raised as her eyes glanced to the Blue Paladin momentarily before returning to the screen of the game. "I think I took a test at one point... INTP sounds right. What type are you?"

"ESTP." He replied casually as if he were pointing out his eye color. Pidge thought he would have said it with a bit more flair or try to accentuate the great qualities of being such a type. But Lance wasn't being  _Loverboy Lance,_  he was just... Lance.

Pidge frowned, then asked in a curious tone, "Can you type everyone else?"

"Easy Peazy. Hunk's type I've known since the Garrison - he's an ISFJ. Keith's an ISFP. Odd, how much more annoying he is than Hunk and he's only different by one attribute." He shrugged. "Shiro... he's a bit harder to type. I'll come back to him. Allura is a  _definite_  ENTJ. Coran is an ESFJ. Hmm... now that I think about it I think Shiro's an INFJ."

The game made a loud drop of notes as Pidge's character finally died. "Holy crow, you typed everyone so fast. I'm only vaguely familiar with Myer-Briggs but it sounds like all of your typing is spot on. You secretly a psychology nerd?" Her eyebrows were skewed skeptically as she looked at Lance as if he were wearing a dress or something.

"Hey, just because I'm not a chemistry nerd or whatever like you and Hunk doesn't make me a complete idiot."

"Technological and mechanical nerds." Pidge corrected him.

"Yes, that. I mean, I got into the  _Garrison._  I know some stuff." The Garrison was the space training school easily compared to an IVY League university and was practically the equivalent of working for NASA. They didn't allow just anyone to join. Pidge narrowed her golden eyes at him like an inquisitive cat, suddenly filled with a great curiosity of wanting to know  _what_  exactly Lance possessed that admitted him into the Garrison.

"I don't doubt that you  _know_  stuff, Lance." She scoffed playfully. "It's just your  _application_  of said knowledge that is... sorely lacking."

"Is that a compliment or an insult? I'm getting mixed signals here."

Pidge stood up and turned off the gaming console, releasing a sigh of defeat. Avoiding his inquiry entirely, she said, "One of these days we'll defeat that boss level. I'm headed to bed. Goodnight, Lance."

"Night." He watched her leave, still left in a stupor from her previous words, and the fact she said ' _we'll_ defeat that boss level' instead of saying ' _I'll_ defeat that boss level' (the more likely scenario). It implied she wanted to keep trying and playing Mercury Game Flux  _with_  Lance instead of plowing through the challenge on her own, which was more Pidge's style. The room was dark save for the light from the hallway that spilled through the door left open after Pidge's exit. He remained sitting on the ground cross-legged, contemplating in the darkness.

Sometimes he wondered if everyone aboard the castle considered him incompetent. He originally thought his strength at the Garrison lied in being a pilot, but now everyone had a Lion. Everyone became a pilot even if they never aspired or even imagined being such. He knew he was a skilled marksman, and even donned himself the title of  _The Sharpshooter_ , but it seemed the majority of their fights were either done in their Lions or involved close range hand to hand combat. Again and again, Lance felt like he wasn't a vital part of the team. Everyone else had something grand to contribute. Shiro with his leadership, combat skills, and intel on Galra, Keith  _being_  half Galra and now an ally of the Blade of Mamora along with his piloting skills had much to offer, Pidge being the tech genius the team desperately  _relied_  on time and time again, and Hunk being the mechanic and scientific 'right hand' to Pidge and her brilliant solutions, and even occasionally coming up with his own brilliant ideas that saved the team. Lance felt he didn't match up to Keith as being a "fighter" role of the team, which was half the reason he started the whole "rivalry" between him to begin with. He reckoned if the team simply  _believed_  they were rivals, that maybe they would subconsciously see him as someone at least close to Keith in terms of skill and importance.

In the end, he wasn't a fighter. He wasn't a leader. He wasn't a genius. He couldn't win battles, he couldn't inspire the team, and he couldn't provide solutions. He was just... there. A jack of all trades who excelled at nothing in particular, a well rounded Paladin who didn't stand out for contributing anything extraordinary. Which meant at the end of the day, Lance was just the Blue Paladin - someone to fill the fifth seat necessary to form Voltron. 

Lance sighed and got up to his feet, deciding to finally retire to bed. Tomorrow was a new day to prove himself, a common mantra he told himself each night to keep the dark thoughts in the corners of his mind. Hope sparked inside him that perhaps, if only slightly, Pidge had started to see him as something more than just the spare, the goofball of the team, of more than just the fifth needed Paladin.

It was a hope that he sorely needed.

 


	2. A Cappella

Pidge made a mental note to look into her hacked Garrison files still on her laptop and find Lance's file, delve into his test scores or something to find out the hidden whatever it was that piqued her interest in the Blue Paladin. The team went on a mission the next morning to free citizens from Galra forces, so Pidge didn't exactly have time to work on her "research." Between shooting warships and forming Voltron and fighting Galra soldiers, it wasn't until a few days later that the crew found some much needed peace and quiet after an exhausting battle.

"This juice is incredible, Hunk! What's it made of?" Lance slurped his straw obnoxiously as he finished his seventh serving of the stuff. They were all lounging in the common room, enjoying some refreshments Hunk whipped up from the planet they were currently occupying.

"You don't wanna know." Hunk replied ominously.

"Ew, please don't tell me this is made of intestinal juices or something." Keith made a face at the cup in his hand.

"Gross Keith! Why would your mind go  _there_ first, of all places??" Pidge stuck out her tongue as if the juice she was just drinking was, in fact, made up of intestinal juices.

"Ohmygosh guys, it's not from something  _that_ bad!!" Hunk cried. "Give me some credit!!"

Lance had turned a few shades paler. "So...." His eyes slowly moved to glare inquisitively at his friend. "What  _iiiiiis_ it made of??" When Hunk didn't answer, Lance stuck out his neck. "I GOTTA KNOW MAN! I DRANK SEVEN CUPS OF THIS STUFF!"

Hunk sighed. "It's from a plant similar to a coffee bean, one of the natives showed me how to make it."

"Okay, so it's like coffee, I can handle that. Tastes more like pineapple orange juice though, which is weird."

"But the 'beans' used to brew it come from... from..."

"FROM WHERE?!?"

"....from the regurgitations of a creature that looks like a field mouse."

"SO WE'RE EATING MOUSE VOMIT JUICE!?!" Keith looked ready to snap, but the whole crew looked equally disgusted or abhorrent.

"But...it's  _delicious_ mouse vomit juice." Hunk protested.

"It's perfectly safe, Paladins." Allura assured them, the only one aside from Coran who seemed unphased by this information. "Food preparation can come in all kinds of strange forms. This juice that Hunk learned to create is actually incredibly nutritious and will no doubt help you all replenish after a hard battle!"

"Allura's right, ya know." Coran butted in, taking a pitcher of the stuff to refill his own cup, then went around filling everyone else's cups despite their looks of disgust and horror. "Besides, there are plenty of  _weirder_ drinks you Earthlings are accustomed to, such as the deliciously disturbing drink produced from Kaltenecker."

"Oh don't remind me of _that_." Allura said softly as if she were reminded of a nightmare.

"What!? I thought you two loved milkshakes. You drank em faster than Lance." Hunk said.

"Ehhhh, yeah." Lance took a sip of his refilled mouse vomit juice before continuing. "I showed them how one 'acquires' milkshakes and they were... horrified."

Pidge still frowned at the drink she held in her hand. "That's perfectly normal on Earth. We get milk from cows, goats, camels, yaks... all mammals get milk from their mothers as infants. I'm surprised you Alteins are weirded out by such a... natural concept. Or do you guys not... breastfeed...?" She only realized how awkward the question was after she said it.

Lance interrupted the awkward silence with his obnoxious slurping.

"How are you  _still_ drinking this stuff?" Keith asked, impressed but disgusted.

He shrugged. "It tastes good. You can't let the psychological-ness of it get to you. Let your taste buds decide if you want it."

"That is something Lance would say." Shiro finally spoke. Although his expression was hesitant, he drank the juice as well.

"That  _is_ something Lance would say." Keith echoed in agreement.

"What is  _that_ supposed to mean?" Lance didn't quite sound offended, but moreso confused.

"Well, I'm sorry about the uhh... 'psychological-ness' of this, as Lance puts it." Hunk apologized. "I'll try to make something less... you know what, I just won't tell you guys what's in my recipes anymore."

Pidge sighed. "That's probably for the best." 

In the end, it was mostly Lance, Hunk, Allura, and Coran who drank the juice. Shiro seemed to like it the more he drank, but Pidge downed her glass like it was medicine (complete with disgusted noises) while Keith gave his cup to Lance. They slowly trickled off from the common room one by one, heading to get ready for bed after a long day of fighting.

 

][ --- ][

 

Pidge retired to her room, ready to take off her Paladin armor and plop down on her bed, but she decided instead to take a well-needed shower. She was normally a morning shower person, but her shoulders were sore and she figured the hot water would help her relax to get an even better sleep. She gathered her towel and pajamas and headed towards the bathrooms. As she approached, she heard something that sounded vaguely familiar, something that reminded her of Earth.

It was music, no,  _singing,_ faintly coming from the bathroom door _._ When the door slid open with a whirring sound and she stepped into the steamy room, she could hear it with greater clarity. She recognized the song, but she couldn't put a name on the artist who originally sang it. Pidge had more of a taste for techno and movie soundtracks, so the more popular songs were less familiar to her. She was drawn further into the communal bathroom, lingering just past the edge where the mens side began. She was mesmerized by the voice, the words beautiful and passionate.

_This is it, boys, this is war - what are we waiting for?_   
_Why don't we break the rules already?_   
_I was never one to believe the hype_   
_Save that for the black and white_   
_I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked,_   
_But here they come again to jack my style_   
  
_That's alright_   
_I found a martyr in my bed tonight_   
_She stops my bones from wondering just who I, who I, who I ammm_   
_Oh, who am I? Mhmm... Mhmm..._

Pidge's honey brown eyes widened as she realized who was singing. It was  _Lance._ Since when could Lance sing? How had she not known? But now that she thought about it, she had never heard him sing. Usually individuals who had a voice like that were constantly singing, whether along with their headphones, with the radio, or a cappella at random spurts. It seemed incredibly contradictory - Lance, the one who was always batting his eyes at women and sliding smooth pick up lines, didn't ever use his siren-like singing ability to woo the ladies. Why would he hide such a talent? Lance wasn't exactly one to be  _bashful._ He continued, and Pidge couldn't help but sit down on the cool tile floor and listen intently as he sang the chorus even louder.

_Well, some nights I wish that this all would end_   
_'Cause I could use some friends for a change._   
_And some nights I'm scared you'll forget me again_   
_Some nights I always win, I always win..._

She couldn't help the small giggle when he started singing overlapping parts of the song, although he did it amazingly well for a one-man-choir. She was about to head towards the girls' side to shower when he ended the song, but as she was in the middle of getting up onto her feet he started singing another song with hardly any pause to catch his breath. This song had a much different feel than the last, but Lance still sang it with all his heart.

_I am a question to the world,_   
_Not an answer to be heard_   
_Or a moment that's held in your arms._   
_And what do you think you'd ever say?_   
_I won't listen anyway…_   
_You don't know me,_   
_And I’ll never be what you want me to be._

_And what do you think you'd understand?_  
 _I'm a boy, no, I'm a_ man..  
 _You can't take me and throw me away._  
 _And how can you learn what's never shown?_  
 _Yeah, you stand here on your own._  
 _They don't know me 'cause I'm not here._

Pidge was standing now, her towel and clothes held tight to her chest, her eyes staring vacantly at the floor as his words struck something deep inside her. She  _knew_ this song. She  _loved_ this song. It reminded her of home, of Earth, of her family, and it brought tears to her eyes. She could hear the music in between the words Lance sung. As the song enveloped her core, she felt how the words applied so strongly to the boy who sang them, the boy she was starting to finally better  _understand._

_And I want a moment to be real,_   
_Wanna touch things I don't feel,_   
_Wanna hold on and feel I belong._   
_And how can the world want me to change?_   
_They’re the ones that stay the same._   
_They don’t know me,_   
_'Cause I’m not here._

_And you see the things they never see_   
_All you wanted, I could be_   
_Now you know me, and I'm not afraid_   
_And I wanna tell you who I am_   
_Can you help me be a man?_   
_They can't break me_   
_As long as I know who I am_

When she felt the tears spill over her lashes and fall upon her towel did she blink rapidly, snapped out of her trance. His words weren't just notes to be sung. She could tell this was a favorite song of his and the words resonated with him and who he was. In a sense, hearing him sing  _I'm Still Here_ felt more personal than something akin to reading his diary. Pidge contemplated leaving the bathroom and going back to her bed so he wouldn't know anyone heard him, but she couldn't find it in her feet to leave the bathroom. She wanted to continue listening, not only because it made her bittersweetly nostalgic for Earth but because it was a side of Lance she never knew... a side she was starting to admire, if only in secret. 

Finally she made her way towards the girls' showers, albeit slowly. She hesitated to turn on the water because that meant it would be harder to hear Lance's voice, but eventually she shook her head and willed herself to take her shower. Lance unknowingly serenaded her and she found herself standing under the stream of hot water completely lost in thought. In time she heard the shower water stop on the opposite side of the bathroom and the Blue Paladin's voice ceased its beautiful chorus. For a moment Pidge panicked, realizing that he would know that either she or Allura had heard him, and shut off her water. It was a desperate attempt to hide the fact she was there, and Lance would never be a hundred percent certain unless he dared to walk over to the girls side and see Pidge's feet beneath the curtain. There was a long, terrifyingly anxious pause of silence where she tried her best to hold her breath. To her relief, she heard the door to the bathroom open and close and let out a long, drawn-out sigh. 

She didn't know what to think of the whole encounter.

And for Pidge, not knowing what to think was a first.

 


	3. A Hacking Mess

Pidge entirely forgot about looking at her Garrison files. For the next few days she was distracted by remaining low-key as she tried to find out when Lance showered so she could listen to him sing.  _Not stalkerish at all, Pidge,_  she reprimanded herself, knowing full well that it was an incredibly  _weird_  thing to do. Knowing her teammate's hygienic schedule was nothing short of creepy, but her intentions were good-hearted. It surprised her just how much she  _missed_  Earth music, and Lance had a surprisingly good taste in it. She kind of expected him to like rap or those popular trashy songs about sex, but he had a much more interesting palette of musical taste. She also couldn't help the stalker behavior because of how lovely his voice was, and she was intrigued all the quiznaking quintant. 

And it turned out Lance had a strictly rigid hygienic schedule. Pidge was surprised he had never complained before about not being able to shower at his usual time or having access to washing his face when they were in the middle of a mission. With how much attention and care he put into keeping himself clean and  _pampered_ , Pidge was confused at how he had yet to throw a fit when his vanity needs couldn't be met.

She was on her way to sneak into the bathroom to listen to Lance sing when she rounded a corner and bumped into Keith.

"Sorry." He said, eyes widened ever so slightly.

"No it's my fault, I should have watched where I was..." She looked Keith up and down. "Why are you in your Marmora armor?" 

Keith looked hesitant, but not in a way that looked like he was sneaking out without permission. He looked more _embarassed_ and Pidge couldn't recall ever seeing him like that. "I have a uh... meeting. With the Blade of Marmora. They wanted to talk some things over."

"At this hour?" Pidge knew that time in space was relative, but for the Paladins aboard the Castle it was late in the evening. She knew Keith wouldn't leave at such a weird time without informing the whole team unless it was important. Lance may have piloted the Red Lion now, but Keith was still just as much a part of the team. He was still the Red Paladin, always would be.

She raised a brow in disbelief. "What are you  _really_  up to?"

"Could ask the same of you." Keith said bluntly. "I've seen you do a lot of precarious sneaking around the bathroom at night."

She swallowed. She wasn't expecting Keith of all people to notice... but if he had been sneaking out as well, perhaps their paths crossed more than once and Pidge never noticed until she literally bumped into him. "This isn't your first... 'meeting' this late at night, is it?"

Now Keith swallowed. They were both pointing proverbial daggers at each other, wanting to know the truth without revealing their own secret. Instead of trying to deny her question (which was an answer all on its own), he asked, "But seriously what are you doing around the bathrooms that is so...  _suspicious???"_  

Pidge sighed, admitting defeat. "I swear, Keith, it's not like I'm secretly doing drugs in the girls bathroom." She lightly grabbed his arm and dragged him a few more feet till they stood in front of the communal bathroom door. She looked at him and motioned a finger to her lips for him to be quiet, then lead him into the bathroom, the door closing behind them. Sure enough, Lance was singing. 

 _Anything you say can and will be held against you_  
 _So only say my name_  
  
 _If heaven's grief brings hell's rain_  
 _Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday_  
 _(I know I'm bad news)_  
 _For just one yesterday_  
 _(I saved it all for you)_  
 _Oh, I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way_  
Still _I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday_  
 _(I know I'm bad news)_  
 _For just one yesterday_  
 _(I saved it all for you)_  
For just one yesterday

Keith's expression was a mix of awe and confusion. A hint of pride flushed through Pidge's chest when she heard Lance singing multiple parts to the song for Keith to hear, which she still had no idea how he could possibly pull off so nicely. She quickly pulled Keith back out into the hall before he could speak, waiting for the bathroom doors to close until she spoke. "I know it sounds weird. But I sneak in there when Lance is showering so I can listen to him. I never thought I'd miss music so much. Earth music, that is."

"I... never knew that about Lance." Keith blinked a few times. "I take it he doesn't know? About you sneaking in there?"

"No... I think the night I first heard him he was singing louder than usual because as you can tell you can barely hear him unless you go inside." 

"And we all know to avoid taking showers anytime near Lance since he steals all the hot water." 

"Oh... that would explain why the showers are always busy in the mornings." She blinked rapidly, clearing her mind as she focused back on the dilemma at hand. "Alright, you can't tell anyone,  _especially_  Lance."

"I won't. But why don't you just tell him?"

"Right! Hey Lance, you have a beautiful voice and I've been stalking you ever since I accidentally heard it, do you mind if I sit outside your shower stall and listen to you? Because  _that_  will go over just peachy."

Keith shrugged. "Guys prefer to be straightforward." 

"Fine, then be straightforward with me. What are you up to?" Pidge crossed her arms defiantly. "I spilled, now it's your turn. I'll keep it secret, so long as you keep mine."

He made a face as if to say  _what did I just get myself into?,_ let out an exhale and obliged. "I'm catching up with my mother."

"Oh, of course, you're catching up with your mo-  _with your_ _WHAT-?!?!?"_  

" _SHHH,_ geez." Keith looked around in paranoia as if all the Paladins would poke their heads around the corner any second. "I... kind of met her on my last mission. So we've been... getting to know each other."

Pidge could feel tears threatening to make an appearance as she looked up at Keith to find genuine  _joy_  in his eyes. "Keith... that's... that's  _amazing._  I'm so happy for you!" Suddenly her demeanor changed as she spoke faster in excitement. "What's she like? Does she look like you? Is she tall? Are her eyes yellow? Did you  _fight_  her? Does she fight well? Does she like knives as much as you do?"

"Woah woah, slow down Pidge!" He gently grabbed her shoulders, leaning in slightly to speak softly. "I... barely know her. That's why we're having these secret meetings. It... wouldn't go over well for some of the team if they found out."

She frowned but understood. Allura was distrusting of the Galra, Shiro would probably lecture Keith about leaving the team to spend time with someone they couldn't yet trust, and the whole team in general was on edge with the recent dealings with Lotor. It would cause Keith a lot of grief if anyone found out, but all he wanted was to get to know his mother. "I get it. Just be careful, okay? I'll cover for you if the need ever arises."

Keith stepped back and crossed his arms with a crooked smile. "Same. Although your situation might be a little harder to figure out a cover for..."

Pidge laughed. "It's a deal. Now get out of here, before she wonders if you've died or something."

His smile grew slightly bigger, his voice quiet, "Thanks Pidge." 

 

][ --- ][

][ [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqB3rg2oWCc) ][

Her interaction with Keith cut into her listening-to-Lance-sing time (that sounded just as weird in her head), so Pidge decided to book it back to her bedroom instead of taking the risk of walking into the bathroom and possibly running into Lance. It was still way too early for her bedtime so she sat on the floor of her cluttered room and whipped out her laptop to do some digging.

Back on Earth she hacked into the Garrison's records in several failed attempts to find out more information concerning Kerberos. She downloaded  _everything_  in hopes that perhaps normal files held bits of information or encrypted data, which meant she had every student's record on her laptop. Pulling up the command prompt to search the many folders of Garrison files, she typed in  _Lance McClain_ and hit enter.

Several files pulled up but after a quick assessment she determined which file was his main record and opened it. Her golden hues were illuminated bright cerulean from her screen as she glanced over the text, looking for something that would stand out as Lance's... whatever it was that made him more than what Pidge thought him to be.

"SHUT. UP." Her jaw dropped when she saw something that simultaneously made her blood boil and her stomach flutter with butterflies. There were a number of aptitude tests for various areas of study in the Garrison entrance exam, most of them being science related. It was, after all, a school for space cadets. One had to know physics, chemistry, technology, biology, the list went on. Pidge scored incredibly high on all things science and math related, but there was an aptitude test in particular she struggled with and its difficulty infuriated her. Lance's score on this test was phenomenally high. Doing a quick search she learned that Lance was the twelfth highest score in the history of Garrison students to have ever taken it.

The Inductive Reasoning test.

It was an aptitude test that measured abstract reasoning, the ability to see patterns and work flexibly with unfamiliar information. All the tests were timed, but the Inductive Reasoning test was timed for each individual question. It was remarkably stressful, even for a genius like herself. To see Lance with a wicked score of 457 practically made her jealous. Ignoring the anomaly of his Inductive Reasoning score, she looked at his other test scores to see most of them were pretty average, some barely scraping the passing line, save for the Verbal Reasoning test which also had a higher score than Pidge.

"So you're inhumanly good at making logical decisions under pressure -  _who would've though_ _t -_ and you're good with language skills...and... oh. You speak  _four languages???_ " Pidge had never heard him speak anything other than English. She knew he was from Cuba so she  _figured_  he knew Spanish as well, but he also knew Portuguese and  _Arabic?_  She knew those languages wouldn't have been listed under his profile unless he was fluent enough in all of them to hold a conversation with a stranger. It was no wonder he picked up on Altean terms so quickly. And here Pidge was, being Italian and not even knowing the language. Granted, her grandparents were from Italy while she and her parents lived in America, but she still felt lame for not learning a language she was strongly familiar with while Lance was busy being quadrilingual. If coding counted as a foreign language then she knew a lot more than Lance... but that didn't exactly count.

She wasn't surprised to see his athletic scores were all top notch, or that his shooting proficiency was the third highest ranking of his class. And even though there wasn't a "psychological profiling" test of any kind, Pidge already knew he excelled at such. It made her idly wonder why he hit on  _every_  woman imaginable. If he could profile people with ease, she figured he would have more of a selective pallet or type. Lance was full of contradictions and Pidge didn't know what to make of any of it.

She sighed, realizing how little she knew about him. They had only known each other for a year at the Garrison before leaving into space with the discovery of the Blue Lion, but she thought she had him figured out. They weren't  _tight_  by any means, but she still saw him as a friend - which was saying something considering Pidge at that time could count the number of friends she had on her hand. She was closer to Hunk at the Garrison but she still saw Lance equally as her teammate, even if he annoyed her most of the time, and Lance was mutually kind to her. He still saw her as a boy at that time though... knowing now what she did about Lance it confused her as to why he was the only one completely shocked to find out she was a girl. It was hard for her to discern whether their friendship grew deeper after her gender reveal or if it was simply because of their time together as Paladins of Voltron. Either way, they were much closer now than they were at the Garrison.

"One of these days I'll figure you out." Pidge said determinedly to Lance's cadet photo on her screen. She loved solving problems, and boy, was Lance McClain a complex puzzle just waiting to be solved.

 


	4. Retrace I: Taking Flight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a flashback which takes place during S1E6. Any flashback chapters I'll title like this one, with "Retrace" and the episode title where it takes place. I might do quite a few of these because they're fun, and there's lots of little pockets of unexplained time in the show that I can build on.

][ [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAmyLScoBUM) ][

"You're not leaving to find your family?"

Lance had just awoken from the healing pod the day before, and things were still foggy in his mind. He remembered the Arusians hanging around the castle, drinking some juice that tasted like spinal fluid, realizing Keith couldn't figure out simple group cheers, Pidge announcing that he was leaving Voltron, and speaking with Coran. He couldn't quite remember what they talked about, but he remembered seeing Rover with no Pidge, and connecting the dots just a little too late. _So much for my high Inductive Reasoning test score._

But he remembered Pidge saying that he was going to leave.

Oh yeah… and Pidge was a _girl._

_So much for that high Inductive Reasoning test score._

"Pidge?" Lance turned to face her since she remained quiet too long. He was looking through the Castle's equivalent of a fridge, although it resembled more of a walk-in closet with drawers, while Pidge sat with arms folded, staring blankly at her phone on the counter. "I thought you were dead set on leaving Voltron."

"I-" She faltered as if she knew exactly what she wanted to say but fell short, deciding against saying it at all. Her mouth clamped shut, her lips creased into a frown and eyes narrowed into daggers. She looked ready to kill someone, but Lance recognized it as frustration. The only thing she was mad at was herself.

"What changed your mind?" His voice was quiet, so unlike the Lance she knew. Lance was loud, blunt, flirtatious and always over dramatic. Here, leaning against the countertop across from her, he was concerned, wearing an expression she had never seen on his face before. "I know you're not one to change your mind once its set… so what made you stay? I get wanting to stay to help the team after the crystal exploded, but now that it's fixed… no one's keeping you from leaving now. You could still leave to find your dad and brother. Don't let Keith's words get to you. I wouldn't stop you if you wanted to go."

"You're right." She finally said, lifting her cool amber gaze to meet his of deep azure. "I could leave. But I'm not going to." Her eyes darted back down to the counter, suddenly nervous from the stare of the Blue Paladin. _Why do I feel so flustered? I talk to Lance all the time._ She wondered idly if it was because he now knew she was a girl, and she was subconsciously dreading the inevitable moment when he would start putting the moves on her and sliding flirtatious lines her way.

"Why." It was a question, but Lance said it more like a command.

"Because." Pidge answered defiantly like a child, although her eyes still couldn't meet his. "I thought you were _dead_." She wasn't expecting her voice to crack as it did, or her heart to flutter so painfully. "I thought you were dead and _it was all my fault_. If I wasn't so adamant about leaving, maybe I could have noticed something sooner, or done something…" Her voice stilled, barely above a whisper. "I thought for sure you were dead or would be… we didn't know about the healing pods at that time. You obviously don't remember but you had severe internal bleeding, a concussion, and a blast lung. There's no way you should have survived…"

Lance was speechless. He stood up straight, his hands resting on the countertop as he stared down at it like Pidge, as if the glossy white surface would hold some answers. He knew his injuries were severe but it never quite sank into his mind how close he was to death. Everything happened so fast. It felt like just a few hours ago he was trying to explain the Voltron cheer to Keith and regretting the sour aftertaste that drink left in his mouth.

"The day they announced the death of the Kerberos crew members… I felt so… _broken_." Pidge could feel the tears blurring her vision, but she steeled herself to keep them from spilling over. "I was so lost, like a part of me was _gone_. I _never_ wanted to feel like that again, and I swore to myself I would do anything to find my family. Seeing you like that… I realized that you guys are my family. Yeah I don't know Keith all that well and Hunk can be frustrating at times and you are a downright pain in the neck but... I don't want to lose any of you… I _can't_ lose any of you..."

Sometime during Pidge's words, Lance had moved closer to stand next to her. He placed a hand on her shoulder, causing her to look up at him and see he was also on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry." He said softly.

"What are you apologizing for?"

He looked away, his expression hard. "I just… feel bad. I know how much your family means to you. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough. That you had to-"

"Stop it, Lance." She placed her hand on top of his, her golden eyes flickering with pain. She knew the path he was heading down and she wanted to stop him before he ventured too far. "It wasn't your fault, and it was ultimately my decision. I'm still going to find my family. But I'm not going to abandon you guys… you're just as much my family now."

Lance swallowed hard, his voice faltering as he offered her a weak smile. "Yeah." He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze before releasing his hand and walking back towards the fridge. "We'll find your family one day. If they're anything like you, I'm certain they're still surviving out there just as Shiro did."

Pidge smiled, wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeve while Lance wasn't looking. "I sure hope so."

"Come on, Pidge! We're Team _Voltron!_ We're the defenders of the _universe_." He looked over his shoulder, giving her his usual playful smile. "If anyone can find and save your family, it's us. And we'll do it together."

She smiled softly, glad to see him back to his usual self. It was a lot to process, with Lance nearly dying and miraculously defying the laws of nature to fully recover (she still wondered how those healing pods worked), and now seeing a new side of the Blue Paladin made her wonder if she really knew him at all. "Third drawer down, on the right side." She said casually and he made his way in the fridge to where she directed."There's some weird yellowish-green things that look like Brussel sprouts but they taste like pizza rolls."

Lance's gasp was nearly a scream. "Like _Totino's Pizza Rolls??!_ " He pulled out the whole tray and hurriedly plopped it down on the counter in front of her. His eyes held excitement but his brows were raised dubiously as he glanced over at her. "You're not pulling my leg, are you?"

"Me, give you Earth-like food expectations only to have it be a joke?" She gave him a look. "I'm not _that_ cruel." 

He popped one in his mouth and immediately let out a sound of pleasure. "They DOOOOO taste like Totino's Pizza Rolls! Which is odd..." He ate another. "...seeing that they look like..." And another. "...vegetables."

"Space food is weird." She agreed, popping one of the sprouts into her mouth. "I think the thing I miss most are chips. Sour cream and onion potato chips, nacho cheese Doritos, Cheeto puffs..."

Lance was already on his sixth pizza-roll-sprout. "Mmm. For me, garlic knots." He made a nostalgic sounding sigh. "If I - or Hunk, for that matter - ever come across anything that tastes like chips I'll let you know."

"If I - or Hunk - come across anything that resembles garlic knots I'll let you know." She said in kind with a wistful smile.

He smiled back at her as he finished chewing his ninth pizza-roll-sprout. Suddenly he burst out animatedly, "When I say Vol, you say Tron. Vol!"

"Tron!"

"YEHEHEESSS THANK YOU!" 

Pidge laughed. "What's with the cheer?"

Lance sighed. "Don't worry about it."

 


	5. Versatility

][ [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyT_9avg_Og&list=PLjjzphYx_WoChqfy-6LKs3cwaBmTyBU0V&index=7) ][

 

"I can't stand that Lotor guy."    
  
Pidge raised an eyebrow, keeping her eyes on the game screen as she and Lance fought the boss they struggled to defeat. It was another late night where they both happened to run into each other in the kitchen (after Pidge finished her shower-singing-stalking) and decided to play some more Mercury Game Flux. "Because he's always around Allura?"   
  
"No." The answer surprised Pidge. It didn't sound like he was deflecting any kind of jealousy. "I don't trust him."   
  
"I don't think any of us  _really_  trust him, Lance."   
  
He huffed in frustration. "It's more than that. It's like... he's just lying in wait, making us feel comfortable around him so he can more easily stab us violently in our sleep."   
  
"That took a turn." Pidge frowned. She didn't exactly trust Lotor, but she wasn't as suspicious as Lance either. "I don't like Lotor just as much as you, but he  _did_  kill Zarkon. Defeating the tyrant of the universe has to count for something, especially since he was his own father."   
  
"He probably just killed him so he could take his place. You know how often tyrannicide leads to another form of autocracy led by another name? It happens aaaaaaa  _lot_. It's all a front, I'm telling you." He smashed wildly away at the buttons as his character was struggling in the fight. When his avatar dramatically died, he let out a disappointed groan, dropping his controller in defeat. "I think this boss is rigged."   
  
"You usually last way longer than that." Pidge couldn't help the feeling of concern crawl up her throat. Although it was subtle, she had noticed Lance had been acting strangely the past few weeks. She could tell something was bothering him, but she couldn't pinpoint what it was exactly, and she had a feeling it was more than merely his suspicion of Lotor. The songs he sang in the shower were usually depressing. His smiles never quite reached his eyes. He didn't react to things the way she would have expected. It was as if the fire inside of him had died and she didn't know how to fix it. She took a deep inhale and summoned up her courage to ask him forthright.   
  
She paused the game, set down her controller, and turned to face him. "What's really bothering you, Lance?"   
  
His eyebrows raised, surprised that she had paused the game. Pidge was excellent at multitasking - she normally would have carried on the conversation while still fighting the boss, but this time she was giving him her full undivided attention. It wasn't exactly something Lance was used to. He blinked a few times, the darkness of the room saving the fact that his face was flushed. "I'm... fine?"   
  
"You're a horrible liar."   
  
"I'm not lying! I'm-" He crossed his arms uncomfortably and looked away. "I don't know! I don't know what's bothering me... I'm just... really confused about a lot of things."   
  
She lowered her eyes in thought as she chose her next words carefully, speaking slowly as if she were cautiously stepping around shards of glass. "If you want... you can confide in me. Perhaps whatever's bothering you will seem less confusing with a second opinion, another perspective."   
  
Lance was quiet for a moment. "Perhaps." The silence stretched out a while longer before he finally looked at her and asked with a pointed finger, "You gonna finish the boss?"   
  
"I can't defeat it alone." Her honeyed eyes pierced through the darkness, serious but kind. "Which means I gotta figure out how to help you get back on your feet. I can't do that unless you tell me what's going on in that head of yours."   
  
"What?? I'm on my feet just fine." He stood up as if to prove his point, looking down at her with a pouty frown. "Easy peasy, I know how to stay on my feet. I mean I'm a  _leg_  of Voltron. Well... used to be."   
  
"HA!" Pidge pointed dramatically as if she just spotted Waldo before anyone else. " _That's_  exactly what I'm talking about."    
  
"What?"   
  
"You're doubting yourself."   
  
"I used to be a leg. Now I'm an arm." He shrugged. "That's a fact, not an emotional confession."   
  
"True. The statement was a fact. But the way you said it was an emotional confession."   
  
"Gaaah stop using my words against me!"   
  
"I'm not using them against you, I'm using them to _help_ you."   
  
Lance crossed his arms, staring down at her with a frown for a moment before speaking. "Fine. But I have to show you something first." He left the room without waiting for her, and Pidge watched him in confusion for a tick before standing up and following the Blue Paladin to the training room.   
  
  
  
\-----   
  
  
  
"That's… your bayard." Pidge said dully, rubbing one of her eyes tiredly.   
  
"No, hold on, I've almost got it." Lance's expression intensified as he stared at his shotgun as if the strength of his stare would eventually change the weapon. After an antagonizing long moment it glowed white and lengthened into a rifle.   
  
"Aaaaand now it's your rifle." She said, her tone more bored than anything.   
  
"Urrrg!" Lance flailed the rifle through the air a bit. "It _was_ a sword, an Altean broadsword!"   
  
"A sword?" Pidge's eyebrows rose. "How'd you know it was Altean?"   
  
"Allura told me." His voice was quiet, his expression melting into something more disappointed than sad. "She was the first one to see it, she said it was symbolic, that I had greatness within or something…"   
  
Pidge felt something burn within her chest as she looked at the Blue Paladin, staring at his bayard in frustration, trying to find answers in something that wasn't there. The rifle was _red_ and it seemed so wrong. Red was not meant for Lance, the boy who resonated calm, deep blues, and yet here he was, confused in a world that burned fire into his soul and expected him to change into something he wasn't. Pidge knew deep down that Lance didn't want to pilot the Red Lion. He didn't want Shiro to disappear, he didn't want Keith to lead, he didn't want the burden of being the right-hand. He knew Keith would return to Voltron one day, and where would he belong then? They were a paladin too many, and it made most sense to relieve the paladin who felt anomalous to the color of their bayard.   
  
The Green Paladin felt like miles stretched between them. She never thought she could feel so _distant_ from Lance. He was always there, he was always the support, the encouraging words, the light-hearted jokes, the energetic spirit, the _heart_ of the team. When Lance stopped smiling, Pidge could _feel_ it, as if her own heart had ceased it's beating rhythm.   
  
She closed the gap between them, each step feeling like a lifetime, and cupped her hand around his where it gripped the handle of his rifle. She couldn't bring herself to look at the defeat in his deep blue eyes, so she kept her eyes trained on their hands.   
  
"You don't need a sword to prove that you're great, Lance." Her words were quiet, shaking slightly as the emotions threatened to ruin her voice. "I know you loved Blue. Dare I say more so than any of us love our Lions. But… you switching Lions doesn't make you a third wheel. It doesn't mean you're the extra paladin to fill whatever void there may be. You have a purpose in Voltron. Red wouldn't have chosen you otherwise. The Lions know it. And I know it."   
  
She finally gathered the courage to look up at him, only to be hit with a wave when she saw his expression. She had seen Lance cry plenty of times - he wasn't afraid to let his emotions show like most boys - but the tears that lined his eyes weren't tears of sadness or joy. He looked _shocked_. His lips were slack, his brows furrowed, his dark blue eyes a contraction of a hard expression blurred by tears.   
  
"Pidge…" His voice was rough. "Do you really mean all that?"   
  
Her eyebrows lowered slightly. "Of course I do. When we first discovered Blue, she chose _you_. Not Keith. Not Shiro.  _You._ You were the  _first paladin of Voltron._ You are the one who brought us all together, and none of this could have happened without you. Just-" She looked away, her gaze narrowing as she felt her eyes begin to water. "Please… don't forget it, okay? You don't need to prove that you're great. I already know."   
  
As if to answer the question in both their minds, the rifle glowed a brilliant white and changed into the red Altean broadsword.   
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM DETERMINED to incorporate this fic into season 6 canon. Clearly Keith and Krolia never returned from their mission (until after finding Romelle and such) but I don't want to scratch his scene with Pidge because it's adorable. The best fix to this I could come up with is that Keith and Krolia leave again to find the quintessence, and then season 6 can unfold from this part of my tangent of an AU. 
> 
> I will try to make it as clear as possible when things happen, and how it relates to season 6.


	6. Lifelessness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place right after S6E1: Omega Shield.

"What happened with Shiro?"

Lance and Pidge were playing Mercury Game Flux II late into the night once again, and the Blue Paladin's question caught her off guard.

"How do you mean?"

"When we were fixing the shield thing. I only caught glimpses but it sounded like Shiro was in pain?"

"You can't catch glimpses of sound, Lance." Pidge said dryly. "That's a visual description, not auditory."

"Ok whatever! I heard chunks of it."

"That sounds… horrid. You heard _snippets_ of it, is what you're trying to say. I think."

"Ohhh right right, okay that's the word. _Snippets_."

"Anyway…" Pidge blinked a few times, trying to figure out how to word what had happened. "It was like… he had some kind of crazy migraine. I'm not sure…"

A silence stretched between them, the only sound in the dimly lit room the smashing of controller buttons and various trills from the game. Lance took a deep inhale. "That… worries me. Shiro actually told me he hasn't felt right in the head…"

Pidge paused the game, turning her head to look at him with a certain level of ferocity. Her eyes were alarmed, but calm and calculated. "He said that?"

"He said he was feeling confused… and what really stuck out to me is that he said _'like he wasn't himself_ '…" Lance sighed. "I mean, we've been under a lot of pressure and I'm sure leading the team has got to be stressful for-"

"He said-" Pidge cut in, lifting a finger towards him. " _'Like I'm not myself'_ …?"

His eyebrows raised. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure those were his exact words." Pidge looked far more troubled by this information than Lance would have thought, so he tried to reassure her. "Maybe Shiro is just having really bad headaches. It's not like we have ibuprofen up in space."

Her eyes trailed off to stare far, far away even though she was just staring at some spot on the ground. Her fears she kept tucked away in the back of her mind were slowly making their way to center stage. She already made a failsafe for Shiro's arm, and seeing him during the events of the Omega Shield made her suspicious but Lance's words felt like a confirmation that she was right. She shook her head, deciding to switch gears both to distract herself and confront Lance about something that had been bothering her.

"What about you? I was pretty occupied with Shiro at the time but from what I heard on the comms…" her voice started to falter but she swallowed, forcing herself to push through. "It sounded like you had _died_ … and Allura somehow saved you…"

Lance was quiet, his expression a mix between pensive and horrified. Pidge couldn't ever recall him looking that way before. "I… I'm not sure. I might have just been unconscious… or like, half-way dead. Is there a medical term for half-way dead?"

"No, but there is comatose."

He snapped his fingers. " _That_. Either way… yeah… I dunno… I guess it's a good thing she's got that Altean magic stuff. I might not be here if it wasn't for her. But I just… couldn't bear to watch her get hurt, ya know?"

"Wait… she was the one about to get hurt but you took the hit for her?"

Lance nodded.

Pidge's voice was soft, muffled by her emotion. "… why?"

"Why? Because I _care_ about-"

She cut in before he could finish, her eyes furious as she stood up and looked down upon him. "Would you please stop doing that?! She's _Altean_ , she could probably survive a supernova! _You're only human, Lance._ "

"What? Next time am I supposed to just _sit there_ and _watch her die??_ "

"Yes! No… that's not what I meant!"

"Well then what _do_ you mean?" Now he stood up as well, the confused anger manifesting itself in his eyes as he stared her down.

"I…" The fury in her hot amber gaze faltered for a moment. "I almost saw you die once, Lance, I can't bear to see it happen again! What part of your own mortality do you not understand? You're always willing to throw yourself in front of fatal blows for the good of others but do you ever stop and think how _everyone else_ would feel in the _wake of your absence?_ "

Lance looked like he had been struck with an arrow, his lips moving silently in uncertainty. He narrowed his eyes at her, his voice wounded. "I'm… I'm not that important, Pidge. I'm just a pilot, a sniper. I'm expendable. Everyone else has a role to play, and I get that. If I can help the irreplaceable people win the fight by making sure they're safe, then _I've played my role_. That's _why_ I'm a sniper."

"The sniper doesn't usually get murdered." Pidge's brows furrowed. She thought her words got through to him in the training room, but clearly he had yet to take them to heart. Lance felt like he had little to offer, but he offered _everything_ he was… to the point of sacrificing his own life. The thought caused her heart to sink, but the fire from her previous anger still burned deep in her core. "You're the sharpshooter, and yet you are still blind…"

"What are you talking about?" There was a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Just… please… stop sacrificing yourself for others…"

"What if it's _you_ next time? What if some laser beam or whatever is heading towards you that I know is going to kill you?" He wanted to know what the smartest person on their team thought, what she would calculate as the most logical approach to such a dire scenario. "What would you have me do, Pidge?"

"Let me _die_ , Lance." She spat bitterly, giving him one last look before spinning around and leaving the room. She held back her tears as she made her way to her room, waiting until her door slid shut behind her to fully collapse. She slid with her back against the door, falling into the fetal position as she pulled herself in close and dropped her head in defeat. The tears betrayed her true feelings hidden behind the mask of anger.

What she wanted to say was that she would rather die than survive and see her friend's lifeless body sacrificed for her sake…

But instead her words cut faster than her heart and she destroyed everything she touched…

 

 


End file.
